just put it in a post and tag me. This is a small village.
You are the most
gorgeous thing I've ever seen. Nobody deserves you. Are we looking at the same face? But small also means safe. Boy, this town's really gone to hell! Papa? Belle, you must leave here.
This castle is alive! Last night in the shower room, I was rushed by a gang of bull chandeliers! Don't look at me - I'm soiled! Who's there? Do you wish to take your father's place? He only paid for a dungeon suite. If you want to upgrade
I'll need the balance up front. Come into the light. Lumos! OOH! Oh dear god! Disgusting! Reducto! Haven't I been cursed enough? Show me the girl.
This is a violation of the Invasion of Privacy
Act! Seven years bad luck. What are we up to now? Bonjour! You can talk! Well, of course we can talk! It's a Disney movie! Everything can talk! Hello there, Belle. I'm Mrs Potty, a pile of congealed bat droppings. And this infectious mould over here's my son, Spore.
Don't breathe me in or you'll get sick. The master's not as terrible as he appears. Once you get past his propensity
for eating young girls, he's really quite a ladykiller. What happens when the last petal falls? The master remains a beast forever.
And we become antiques. So because he was a jerk to some old gypsy, she's cursed all of his innocent servants to spend an eternity on the Roadshow? Zut alors, she's right! We are the most tragic characters
in all of Disney! - What did you do to it??
- Nothing. I just gave it some water. It was wilting.
Did you use distilled water? Uh... No. Tap water. GET OUT!!!! Wolves?? What have they got that I don't have?? Well for one thing, they don't have
a private flower room.
Some "beast". It's one cursed rose and it's cool! If she is the one... To break the spell, ... You must finally learn to love.
First, I must teach you how to kiss. OW! I burnt my lip! Look, I don't like this
any more than you do. I say we publicly discredit the beast! Why don't we just kill it? Well, I... Guess it wouldn't be a crime.
Have you really read every one of these books? Yes, I have. And now they're all yours-- Nerd alert! Are you telling me you don't even have Netflix? The service here stinks! When was the last time you people went shopping? I mean, this sprout has sprouts! I'm giving this castle zero stars on TripAdvisor. Thats the last time we invite her
to be our guest! Tale as old as time. Shrewd financially.
Disney wants more cash, so they'll just rehash an existing property. Just one minor change: Now it's in 3D. But if I may be bold,
it might as well be called, "Beauty on Repeat". Everything's the same.
Nary a surprise. Exactly as before, except there may be more if they're building a franchise. Tale as old as time. Pandering to the throng.
Don't you think it's strange?
Nothing here has changed, and still we schlep along. Certain as the sum of box office receipts, tale as old as time, con as old as crime, Beauty and the Beast... ...The 2017 live action remake. [BELLE]
That song sucked..
No comments:
Post a Comment